Musical notes
A song forevery chapter.
'A Star Is Born', Redruth, Cornwall
Our hero comes in to the world — and what a world he finds…
Que Sera Sera — Doris DayListen to Que Sera SeraNigel: “How very apt…”
Summercourt, Cornwall
In which our hero is betrayed, but finds his inner muse.
You'll Never Get To Heaven — Dionne WarwickListen to You'll Never Get To HeavenNigel: “I wasn't sure I wanted to…”
Grammar School, Newquay, Cornwall
Where our hero finds himself at the bottom of the food chain, but finds his true vocation…
I'm A Boy — The WhoListen to I'm A BoyNigel: “This was to become a moot point.”
A Newquay Lad
Where our hero becomes a facilitator, and gets humiliated.
In The Summertime — Mungo JerryListen to In The SummertimeNigel: “Ah, sunlit days — though actually, it was not as bright as it seemed.”
Sixth Form
Where it becomes clear to our hero that the worlds of Fine Dining and football are not where he should be, but in the Groves of Academe. And in people's pants.
Children Of The Revolution — T. RexListen to Children Of The RevolutionNigel: “The man in the woman's shoes and me — we were as one, it seems.”
College
Where our hero discovers beer, boobs and blowjobs, and officially becomes a Luvvie.
Knock On Wood — David BowieListen to Knock On WoodNigel: “It was — like thunder. And lightning. But in a good way.”
London
In which I 'Dance Away The Heartache', and our hero discovers he's not as bendy as he thought. Just bent.
Jilted John — Jilted JohnListen to Jilted JohnNigel: “I was going out with Julie, but… he was more of a man than I turned out to be…”
Living In The Material World
In which our hero discovers CarpetWorld and enters another one, accidentally.
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? — Rod StewartListen to Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?Nigel: “I'm not sure he did think I was sexy, but that wasn't really the point…”
The Disentangling
In which our hero faces the truth. And hates what he sees.
You Don't Bring Me Flowers — Barbra Streisand & Neil DiamondListen to You Don't Bring Me FlowersNigel: “I wasn't really bringing anything anymore. I had nothing left to give.”
A Night In Turnpike Lane
In which our hero finds 'you should be careful what you wish for', and suffers an almost unbearable loss.
Breaking The Law — Judas PriestListen to Breaking The LawNigel: “This was so not part of the plan; I broke every promise.”
The Reckoning
In which our hero breaks a heart. And that's all.
Love Will Tear Us Apart — Joy DivisionListen to Love Will Tear Us ApartNigel: “We most certainly were torn apart.”
Down The Rabbithole And Into Wonderland
In which our hero discovers a home from home, more than what's good for him, and falls deeply in lust.
Together We Are Beautiful — Fern KinneyListen to Together We Are BeautifulNigel: “We were beautiful! It was 'the chemistry' — or I thought it was…”
The Only Way Is Ilford
In which our hero meets his love, his nemesis, and gets adopted.
Upside Down — Diana RossListen to Upside DownNigel: “Absolutely head over heels… upside down, and every which way, for sure.”
Four Boyfriends And A Funeral
In which our hero gets 'tempest tossed and sore afflicted' and the lights go out.
Ghosts — JapanListen to GhostsNigel: “Just when I think I'm winning — haunted by ghosts of failure…”
'Fings Ain't Wot They Used To Be'
In which our hero returns to the Land of The Gods, becomes bamboozled and then finds himself a SGWM (GSOH, DDF) who would like a LTR. (Someone who isn't a tosser would be good).
Crash — The PrimitivesListen to CrashNigel: “PLEASE… just SHUT UP!! I've had enough…”
Back On The Bike
In which our hero finds himself lost, found, then lost again.
The Only Way Is Up — YazzListen to The Only Way Is UpNigel: “It just HAD to get better? The only way is UP now.”
Exit, Pursued By A Bear
In which our hero loses his shape, gets chipped away and made into a facsimile.
One Moment In Time — Whitney HoustonListen to One Moment In TimeNigel: “You know that moment, everything seems to come together? We did.”
Lost For Words
In which our hero's heart breaks once more, and he finds solace with the angels.
Unchained Melody — Annie LennoxListen to Unchained MelodyNigel: “My love, my darling, how I hungered for your touch, when it was too late.”
Mint Egy Partra Vetett Hal — Like A Fish Out Of Water
In which our hero finally grows a pair, goes to live on Mars, and finally begins to understand where his future lies. (Clue: it wasn't here.)
Castles In The Sky — Ian Van DahlListen to Castles In The SkyNigel: “I was lost, wot's it all about, eh? Dunno really. Castles in the air.”
Nearer, Yet Even Farther From Home
In which our hero discovers batwurst, brockwurst and the very worst — he's in the wrong body.
The Logical Song — ScooterListen to The Logical SongNigel: “It's not a difficult question, but… can someone tell me who I am?”
Treading Water
In which our hero finally meets Michael (who'd been patiently waiting), faces the truth and finds you really can't go back.
Beautiful — Christina AguileraListen to BeautifulNigel: “I will not be belittled. I am beautiful. I have worth.”
Mr. Lucky Is Well And Truly Fucked
In which our hero gets somewhat of a shock, gets to pay his dues, forgets what size shoes he takes and finds out who his friends really are.
Comfortably Numb — The Scissor SistersListen to Comfortably NumbNigel: “My world shattered. I was numb and dumb and all apart. Can you show me where it hurts?”
Into The Madhouse
In which our hero learns new skills, spends some time in Willy World and gets a present from that nice Tony Blair.
Monster — The AutomaticListen to MonsterNigel: “What's that coming over the hill…?”
Jericho
In which everything comes tumbling down like a tumbling thing at the World Tumbling Championships, I Come Out (again) and plan the Great Escape. (sort of)
Breathe Easy — BlueListen to Breathe EasyNigel: “There's no air. I couldn't breathe, or sleep now, without you next to me.”
More Ups And Downs Than A Whore's Drawers
In which our hero goes back and forth and round and round and up and down, walks the Red Carpet and builds a blanket fort.
500 Miles — The ProclaimersListen to 500 MilesNigel: “The distance doesn't matter. I'll always come back home to you.”
The Summer Of Lurve
In which our hero finds the boy again, makes peace with the Devil, and puts himself out of harm's way.
Signal Fire — Snow PatrolListen to Signal FireNigel: “I have no fear, when you are there, standing in front of me.”
'This Above All Else: To Thine Own Self Be True'
In which our hero arrives in a new land, arrives in a safe place in his heart, arrives at the end of the search, meets more people than he knew existed who all think he's fab, and plans to become Mr. O'Corra-Bray. Or Bray-O'Corra. And finally, at journey's end, he walks into the sun.
Dream Catch Me — Newton FaulknerListen to Dream Catch MeNigel: “I know who I am now!”
Play it while you read it
The book and the records were made for each other. Start at chapter one.
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