I am Nigel —better known as Mr Lucky.

01I wrote this over a three year period, for many reasons. The book was written originally in three parts, published as they were completed, but now combined into a single volume — the one on offer here.

02I suppose it was primarily an expiation of my demons: my father, my self image, my queerness, my diagnosis, my mother's death, my long term stealthily abusive relationship, the barrenness of the end of it. But ultimately — and I see this retrospectively — it became a kind of self-help book, an example of triumph over despair. No matter how shit things are, they can turn out OK.

03Mr Lucky is the title, and my personal avatar. I don't pretend it is a great work of literature — though at 502 pages and 177,256 words, it IS quite a read — but I DO know it is a worthy thing. Many people who have read it were moved, shocked, amused and horrified in equal measure, and all of those things were real and true and happened to me, in real time.

04I know, too, that they are happening to other gay men all over the world, and I want THEM to read it, just so they know that their Man in the Big Red Shoes is out there and life can be good, and whole and powerful. If you know of someone struggling with the themes covered in this book, please urge them to read it. Apart from being fahhhbulous, it may well help. It may even save a life. If I achieve that, just once, then my work is done.